I’ve been fighting the Corona virus with humor and satire.
Most are fighting it by stocking up on toilet paper.
That’s what Americans are most afraid of. It’s not getting sick - it’s not being able to wipe their ass.
What would we do as a country if we couldn’t wipe our asses?
My God, can you imagine?
As a country, we’ve been using the stuff since 1857, but before that people used all kinds of things - grass, moss, leaves, and corncobs. Many in the world use their left hand to this day.
But we’re Americans, and we’re not going to stoop to that.
So what are the alternatives?
Well, there are many.
Here are a few:
Those Joe Biden stickers are great, as they come in a three pack. Don’t forget that after you peel the sticker off you’ll have that extra wax paper for wiping.
The nice thing with that Bobcat shirt is that you can get XXL size for the same price as a small. That extra fabric will go a long way in keeping your backside clean.
If you choose Hillary’s memoirs, then I suggest getting the copy used - it’s just $4. And at 656-pages, you know you’ll have lots of ‘reading’ material.
Oh...my, oh, my.
Fun stuff, but there is a lot of seriousness too.
We’re intentionally tanking the economy. Even if people wanted to go out and spend money, where are they supposed to spend it?
Most people don’t have $500 in savings.
Schools are closed around the state now, something many of us expected would happen.
Here in Missoula we’re doing spring break right now anyways, so the real effect won’t be felt until next week for most families.
I wonder if they’ll close down places like the YMCA soon. Many parents have their kids enrolled in the day camps there this week.
And what about the bars and restaurants and cinemas here in Montana? They’ve closed them in other states, and chances are good it could happen here.
Traffic is way down at those locations anyways, and even if they stay open I’m sure the workers there will be struggling to make the same level of tip money they usually do.
And it’s not quite working in New York. The governor there was complaining that all the New Yorkers drove to the bars in New Jersey to drink, and then drove home.
The thing is, many people are taking this deathly seriously, while others aren’t taking it that serious at all.
It really depends on your age, who/how many you come into contact with on a daily basis, and how unhealthy you are now or have been in the past.
One thing we know for sure is that things are changing rapidly, and that each day something new happens that we didn’t expect.
It’s quite an exciting time to be alive, with lots of drama and otherwise sane and rational people acting very weird.
I mean...toilet paper?
Hard not to have an attitude of humor and satire in the face of that.
