Hey, maybe those things aren’t as bad as they seem. After all, when I look at Democrats and Republicans in this country, I don’t see a helluva lot of difference. I have a feeling you’re the same way, and I also have a feeling that you might adopt a few policy positions that are commiserate with the other guys.
Yes, you could be flirting with the opposition, walking dangerously close to the edge, and throwing caution to the wind.
Thank you for being American!
Today we’ll look at a few other traits that might make you closer to what this country has historically put out for politicians, and the State of Montana as well.
Do you wonder about your fellow Democrats…you know, the ones that take money hand over fist from corporations and other entities that the Democrats have historically fought against?
If you think the Democratic Party has taken a nosedive in recent years, cozied up too much with Wall Street, or just shipped too many jobs overseas, then chances are good you’re a conservative Democrat.
Corporate Democrats are tearing the party apart, and they’re ripping the country to shreds while they’re at it. They’ll tell you not to worry, and maybe even try to offer you a cut, but deep down, you know this is wrong. You know deficit spending is wrong and you know that robbing our children of their future is wrong too.
Why don’t your fellow ‘Democrats’ know this?
#9: Tax Dollars Stay in America
How much American treasure has flown overseas in recent years, never to come back? How many potholes did you hit on your way to work?
You know full-well that American tax dollars do a lot more good in this country than in other countries. You also know that when American tax dollars go overseas, it doesn’t benefit you or the families you’d like to represent. It helps rich people and tyrants and men that hate women. That’s not American.
#7: Debt is Bad
If you’re a young Democrat then you know that debt is terrible, probably because you have a shit-ton of it yourself. Maybe you thought the American Dream was still alive, and decided to go to college. In exchange they gave you a ball and chain and terrible job prospects. This is why you know debt is bad.
Another reason you might know this is because we have $18 trillion in national debt. Your parents may have created it, but it’s your job to pay it off. If that rubs you the wrong way, chances are good that you won’t piss away so much money, like the troubled generation that came before decided to do.
#6: Gay People are People
When you look at gay people, do you just see another sorry asshole walking down the street, just one more schmuck trying to make a living? That’s what I see, but then I see that when I see black people, Indians, Native Americans, Hispanics, and white people. Everyone has it bad in America these days, and I’m not convinced gay people have it any worse. Oh, they’ll try to make you think they do…but doesn’t every other group do that?
Honestly, I don’t think gay people are any more important than white people, so I treat them like white people…I ignore them.
Wall Street is a street and it used to be called Broad Street. People used to meet outside by the wall and it wasn’t until the 1930s that all the yellers were brought inside to yell. So it’s a street. It’s not the savior of America, it’s not our last best hope, and it’s not a cookie jar that’s to be raided every few years by those with offshore accounts. It’s a street, just like any other in America, and just like all other streets, it’ll follow the same rules and regulations of the road.
#4: Abortion Doesn’t Interest You
Do you stay up at night thinking about abortion? Hey, neither does most of the country! In fact, so few women get abortions each year that it’s one of the smallest problems we have. We have a lot more kids going hungry, black men being shot in the street, and rich people raiding the treasury. Most people practice safe sex or do some kind of family planning, and that’s what you and your family did. You’re regular people. Nonetheless, this is a law and has been for longer than I’ve been alive. Let’s waste time on something else, alright?
#3: Government is Stupid
You know by now that government is stupid and corrupt and not likely to change. You also know that if the government came up to you today and asked for $10, you wouldn’t want to give it to them. You know they can’t spend money reasonably, and most of the money you do give them is wasted. Perhaps worse than that, however, is that you have no real say in how that money is spent. Sure, you might have three representatives in Washington, but you’re also smart enough to know they care more about themselves than they ever will about you.
So you know government is stupid, you know your representatives don’t care about you, and you know you don’t want to give your $10 away. That’s why it’s important that there’s a base-level of government surplus and the rest is given back to the people. I mean, you wanted that $10…right?
#2: Fossil Fuels are Extinct
You know that fossil fuels are a bad investment, and the reason for this is that you have to save for retirement one day, unlike your parents. You know that if you invested all of your money into fossil fuels, in 30 years you’d have nothing to show for it. Why? Because the market is being taken away by renewables.
You might hear the Galt’s complain about oil, but they’re not stupid and began to make the transition to renewables. They’re right on the energy grid and the infrastructure setup and they have pumped storage. They moved from cattle to fossil fuels and now they’re moving to renewables.
You think like that too, and it’s probably because of your kids. Kids today know that the environment is fucked, and they don’t like that. In fact, they don’t like that so much that they’re doing something that we haven’t seen in this country in a century or more – they’re saying to hell with consumerism.
Wow, what a game changer! And that’s wholly coming about because of fossil fuels. Oh, it might be coming about due to our lack of manufacturing jobs and the subsequent inability to buy anything, but more than that, it’s because they want to do what you don’t – they want to save the planet. After all, everything we buy today just ends up in the landfill. Saving went out of style with our grandparents.
#1: You Have Open Eyes
I’d say the #1 sign that you’re a conservative Democrat is that you have eyes and they’re open. It’s clear this country is not #1 in the world, even though we like to lie to ourselves and say otherwise. You know this doesn’t help you or your kids, though it might make the previous generation feel good about themselves, perhaps justify the misery they’ve forced upon millions.
You know that this country is falling apart, and at the same time it’s turning its pockets inside out, looking for change. Those are called ‘Hoover Pockets,’ and they came about after the Great Depression, in a time before credit cards. Now instead of a pocket of nothing, it’s a pocket of debt obligations and IOU’s falling out.
Most of all, however, you know it’s not sustainable. No house of cards ever is, for you eventually run out of cards to keep building. You can borrow more to keep the structure going up, but eventually God’s just going to come and knock it down. That leads to chaos.
So you’re a conservative Democrat, because you know we can’t keep building towers to our idolatry of excess. The forces that be will try, but you’ll put your foot in their way every chance you get.