It’s that time of year again - give your money to Amazon.
You know the routine. Order a bunch of cheap, plastic crap from China that no one really wants, wrap it up in paper that’ll be ripped up and thrown away, and then feel good about yourself, like you really accomplished something.
You’re expected to take your hard-earned wages and salary and spend it on people in your life that may or may not be important.
It’s your societal duty.
You know you can’t be happy unless you’re spending money.
Go ahead and eat a bunch of shit while you’re at it. And don’t you dare fucking exercise!
Split-pant seams and an empty wallet crying out in distress…ah - holiday cheer to my ear!
Another great sound to my ear is you giving me money.
It’s easy this year - just click on one of these Amazon ads in this post to get you to that cathedral to capitalism, order something, and I get a small commission.
We’re in the middle of a recession, pal. Give me some cash.
Don’t think about it; just do it.
Merry fucking Christmas!
Now go buy a gift card.