Most of those articles on the list haven’t been touched upon at all, and then I come in here on days like this, breaking your heart with the rubbish put forth. Golly!
Audacity aside, I was bidding on some projects on Freelancer today, which is where I get a good portion of my work, and I ran across something interesting.
There was a new person there, asking for some simple editing work. They requested all applicants include a cover letter and resume.
This is what I gave her:
I’m interested in working with you on this, and I’d like for you to check out some of my previous work so you can get a feel for what I can do. Here are the links:
My Freelancer Portfolio with all the Samples You Need
My Website’s Page for Freelancer Employers
My 28 Books Selling on Amazon
My Book on Website Content Writing and Increasing Website Traffic
My Website’s Articles on SEO and Writing a Website
My Academic History Book
My Website’s Academic Writing
My ESL Website’s Articles
If any of those interest you, and I sure hope they do, please send me a message and we can start talking about how we can finish your project together.
Are resumes useless? And a cover letter?
The only people I think that find resumes useful are those that don’t have to read them. Have you ever had a pile of resumes – cover letters attached of course – that you had to wade through in addition to any other administrative bullshit your job required of you? Yeah, what a pain in the ass!
What Value Do Resumes Give You?
And your cover letter? Who wants to read 500 words about you? Your relatives don’t even want to read that crap, you think some shmo behind a desk somewhere does?
But I put how I’ll help the company in the cover letter!
No you didn’t. You put how much you want to help. Everyone wants to help – look at Syria. There’s a difference between wanting and doing. What if instead of regurgitating your past accomplishments, you said something like this:
Your 4th quarter earnings were 18% below target and you know it. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Here are three options:
- Roll back previous failed product rollout and downgrade or fire the heads of that department;
- Cut your marketing budget until measurable results are obtained, not after, as you’ve been doing;
- Downsize your office and move into new digs, letting workers telecommute to save on rent and utilities;
- Cancel your fucking shindigs.
Hey, those are just four things any company could do. They’re non-BS, which means they’ll often anger many managers.
Now, remember, these are the managers looking for people to work for them because they don’t know what to do. And for that privilege you’ll be paid less and have to seek their oversight. It’s why they’re managers – they can do nothing else.
Resumes Belong in a Museum
I can’t begin to tell you how many people I see each day looking for fresh resumes and cover letters, or just to have their current ones freshened up. I really shake my head when they give me 3 pages. Why would I want to hire that person?
Resumes and cover letters are just another antiquated thing that’s seen its day. If you want to see what I’ve done, follow my links. If you want to see what I’m doing, go to my website. And if you want to see what I can do, sign up for my mailing list – the only people you want working for you are those that are already working for themselves.
The best employees are those without a vested financial interest in you. They can walk away at any time. Workers that need a job are trouble. They feel entitled and they usually hate it. They can’t do anything else, and they know it.
When people don’t need to work for you, but they are, it means they want to be there. How many of your fellow coworkers can you say that about?
Better get that resume and cover letter polished up, eh?