Well, it was advice – 2 years ago.
I’m talking about the silly posts that tell you how to get more traffic, more conversions, more followers and all the rest of it.
What a load of hooey.
Let’s take a look at some of this bad advice, or at least advice whose time has come.
A Free Gift
How many fucking pop-ups do you have to assault me with?
And haven’t you realized by now that I’m never going to open any of those stupid emails that you send? Not a fucking one.
Instead I’ll opt-out of that email the first email I get. That’ll make your day, won’t it?
I’m not interested in your free shit, pal.
Chances are good that this is the first time I’ve visited this site too, probably because I clicked a link in a social post.
Now you want to bombard me with offers? I don’t even know who the fuck you are!
Honestly though, why should I give a damn about you to begin with?
I’ve got every yahoo on all the big sites giving me a free guide or manual or start-up kit…what the hell do I need your shit for?
Free gifts do not work.
Sure, you can get a ton of useless sign-ups, but is that what you want?
A better bet might be going down to the corner and getting a $20 hooker – it’ll boost your ego just as much, and maybe a bit more.
Stop giving it away, damn it!
A Social Side Bar
Maybe it’s even one of those Hello bar doo-hickeys.
Congratulations – now why the fuck should I care?
Oh, was it so I could share that mundane, pointless, obsolete advice you wrote, advice I might add that I probably already ran across two dozen times on sites better than yours?
Pal, give me a break.
I go to 16 sites each day for content and I do that all over my morning bowl of extra-dry oatmeal.
Do you think I have time for one more?
Well, sometimes I do. And you know what I do? I go right to my Google+ Communities to see what those guys are doing.
Yeah, I know them, even their spam.
I don’t know who the hell you are.
I will admit that I might share a bit of that content, however. I can just as easily do that with the social buttons above or below your post, however.
So if you think that fancy floating sidebar of social icons is going to do something for you, I’ve got news – it’s not.
Your Follower Count
Must be bought, Frank.
Hm…let me check his account…yep, Eddie– you nailed it! Fucker’s engagement level is shit!
I think that conversation between two knuckle-heads pretty much illustrates how important your follower count is to me.
Smart marketers will always check out your profile, and by that I mean scroll down to see how many people are liking or sharing your content.
The sheer amount of dumbasses buying likes and followers is mind-numbing. It’s mind-numbing because we know that Facebook and other networks will ding you for this.
Because just like Eddie said, the engagement level is shit. If you have lots of followers but not a single one can be bothered to engage with you, what use are they?
More, what message are you sending to me with that shit?
If you didn’t buy your followers and your engagement levels are still terrible, consider using some programs to cull your useless social media followers.
Far from them benefiting you, the just make you look silly.
Yes, right here:
- Write good content;
- Write content that people laugh to and nod to;
- Write content that pisses people off;
- Attack people that are being stupid or wrong;
- Don’t apologize for your words;
- Challenge authority;
- Never back down in a fight.
If you can do that your content might be good. I was going to just stick with “write good content,” but let’s face it, you wanted more.
So there it is.
Write like I do. Write to relieve stress or anger or just brow-beat someone for their stupidity.
That’s how people learn. They don’t learn with the “great post” or tons of social shares.
They remember when they got the answer wrong, looked stupid, or made a mistake.
I hope this post made you learn something.