Let’s face it – you’re feeling in a funk right now.
I know, I know…it’s the same way here. And who can we blame for these troubles? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m certainly not going to blame myself!
No, heavens no! I’m going to blame Mercury.
Yes, the planet Mercury, that large gaseous beast sitting closer to the sun than any of the other 9, er…8 planets in our solar system.
Oh, you haven’t heard, have you? Well, draw up a chair and let me amuse you with my anecdotes and humorous tales for a bit!
I know, I know…it’s the same way here. And who can we blame for these troubles? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m certainly not going to blame myself!
No, heavens no! I’m going to blame Mercury.
Yes, the planet Mercury, that large gaseous beast sitting closer to the sun than any of the other 9, er…8 planets in our solar system.
Oh, you haven’t heard, have you? Well, draw up a chair and let me amuse you with my anecdotes and humorous tales for a bit!
Mercury Will Fuck You
Cold, distant, and unfeeling It’s no secret that Mercury will fuck you – this planet has been fucking people for some time.
Mercury was first discovered around 1300 BC by an Assyrian astronomer. Since then people have been looking up at this smallest of the planets and the closest to the sun.
It’s never more than 28 degrees from the sun and it goes around that great ball of fire in just 88 days. There are no masculine or feminine qualities attached to Mercury within astrology, although in Roman Mythology the God is masculine and governs financial transactions, commerce, eloquence, and of course our greatest friend – communications. In other words, they’re pretty much one and the same.
Mercury fluctuates a lot. Temperatures range from 100 K (−173 °C; −280 °F) at night to 700 K (427 °C; 800 °F) during the day. It’s a hot and cold bastard, and it alternates between the two on a whim. And sometimes the sucker even starts moving backwards!
Mercury was first discovered around 1300 BC by an Assyrian astronomer. Since then people have been looking up at this smallest of the planets and the closest to the sun.
It’s never more than 28 degrees from the sun and it goes around that great ball of fire in just 88 days. There are no masculine or feminine qualities attached to Mercury within astrology, although in Roman Mythology the God is masculine and governs financial transactions, commerce, eloquence, and of course our greatest friend – communications. In other words, they’re pretty much one and the same.
Mercury fluctuates a lot. Temperatures range from 100 K (−173 °C; −280 °F) at night to 700 K (427 °C; 800 °F) during the day. It’s a hot and cold bastard, and it alternates between the two on a whim. And sometimes the sucker even starts moving backwards!
Mercury in Astrology
Well, it moves backwards through the astrological chart.
Lots of hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo nonsense on this site lately, huh? Well, let’s get into some more since we’ve already opened this can of worms.
When a planet moves backwards through a chart, hitting up astrological signs out of order, it creates bad juju. What does this mean?
Well, it means that what you’ve done before might need review. It means what you want to do could not progress. And in regard to your eBook sales on Amazon, it means the month could suck.
Here are some things we know about Mercury in retrograde that makes this obvious:
Mercury encourages us to think rapidly, fight restlessness and always to be in motion. It thrives on energy! And it also moves us from one task to the next. So when Mercury is in retrograde, as it is for the entire month of February, well by golly, that will just suck ass!
For writers this is especially painful. Speaking, writing, and all other forms of communication come under Mercury’s wings. That goes doubly for books, which get a double-whammy in that they can be read silently or out loud. In other words authors, you’re fucked!
Lots of hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo nonsense on this site lately, huh? Well, let’s get into some more since we’ve already opened this can of worms.
When a planet moves backwards through a chart, hitting up astrological signs out of order, it creates bad juju. What does this mean?
Well, it means that what you’ve done before might need review. It means what you want to do could not progress. And in regard to your eBook sales on Amazon, it means the month could suck.
Here are some things we know about Mercury in retrograde that makes this obvious:
- We know that Mercury is the planet of communication, and when it comes to selling, communicating is a big deal.
- Words also govern communication, and guess who’s going to be pulling the strings there as well? That’s right, Mercury.
- How about logic and reasoning, like all those little things we don’t like to think about but which make our job of actually starting and then finishing tasks so much more possible? Yeah, the big guy controls that as well.
- And just in case you wanted one more, expression could also be thrown under Mercury’s purview, another casualty lying under those wheels.
Mercury encourages us to think rapidly, fight restlessness and always to be in motion. It thrives on energy! And it also moves us from one task to the next. So when Mercury is in retrograde, as it is for the entire month of February, well by golly, that will just suck ass!
For writers this is especially painful. Speaking, writing, and all other forms of communication come under Mercury’s wings. That goes doubly for books, which get a double-whammy in that they can be read silently or out loud. In other words authors, you’re fucked!
What Can Be Done to Correct This Injustice?
Sleep it off Like a drunk trying to get sober, little can be done but to wait.
If you give Mercury enough time it will get better on its own. Yes, starting March 1, Mercury will no longer be in retrograde.
Things are about to get back to normal here in another week or so. Are you ready? Are you prepared for this shift? When you’ve been in a losing streak for several weeks it can seem quite the adjustment to be on top again.
Mainly, don’t do anything stupid. Chances are good that once Mercury gets out of retrograde you’ll feel it and you’ll want to cut loose. This could cause problems later. Be careful!
Until then, however, hunker down and wait it out. And maybe edit something again.
If you give Mercury enough time it will get better on its own. Yes, starting March 1, Mercury will no longer be in retrograde.
Things are about to get back to normal here in another week or so. Are you ready? Are you prepared for this shift? When you’ve been in a losing streak for several weeks it can seem quite the adjustment to be on top again.
Mainly, don’t do anything stupid. Chances are good that once Mercury gets out of retrograde you’ll feel it and you’ll want to cut loose. This could cause problems later. Be careful!
Until then, however, hunker down and wait it out. And maybe edit something again.
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