New Obamacare Healthcare Plans in Montana…Great

Wow, what a big day! I got an email from the Affordable Care Act Healthcare Marketplaces today!

Uh…what the hell is that?

Obamacare, silly!

Jeez, I just want to hug myself, because, really…isn’t today the day we’ve been waiting for? As Democrats, this was when all of our problems were going to be solved, with Obamacare. We fought for it, tooth and nail in some cases, and gosh darn, we got creamed nationally.

So let’s take a look at what cost so many their political careers, and the Democrats from taking the legislature yet again.

Yep, it’s another whirlwind tour here on Big Sky Words, so strap in!

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2015 Obamacare Health Plans in Montana

If you enter your zip code and your family size with ages and income, you can look at cool plans.

So all of these are based off a family of 3 making around $30,000 a year. The first is this Bronze Plan, with a monthly premium of $21 and a deductible of $12,500:

2015 Obamacare Bronze Plan for Montana

Now, I’m no rocket scientist and I don’t teach math in Butte, but there are two things that stand out to me when I look at this first plan:

• First…holly shit, $21 a month? Where the hell do I sign-up!
  

• Then, what the hell is that $12,500…and do I have to pay that?
  

Now might be a good time to explain how these so-called “metal plans” break down:

• Bronze: Covers 60% of costs;
  
• Silver: Covers 70% of costs;
  
• Gold: Covers 80% of costs;
  
• Platinum: Covers 90% of costs.
  

Well, shit. Looks like I’m getting screwed with anything below platinum, huh? But with a name like platinum I can’t help but think of something like this:

Healthcare for Montana working families

Always on the outside looking in, but that’s America these days for the 90%.

Surely Silver will give me some options, right? And I don’t have to be married for 25 years to get those savings either, do I? Nope, a silver plan might just be for me, like this one:

2015 Montana Obamacare Silver Plans

Hmm, $97 a month sounds like something I might be able to handle (though with those student loans it might be tight). But golly, $2,300 still I’ve got to pay if the wheels fall of the wagon? Hell, if I’m expected to pay that then I ain’t gonna have no wagon to put wheels on.

So let’s pay a bit more a month to get that deductible down, and still stick with that bronze level, like this:

Affordable Bronze plans in Montana

And what do my specific benefits look like with this bronze plan, anyways? This first image is from the ‘brochure’ view on the site:

Bronze Brochure

Here you can see a more detailed breakdown of the level of services a Bronze Plan would give you with Obamacare in Montana:

Bronze Plan Services in Montana

As you can see, once you pay that deductible of $7,900 you’ll pay nothing else. Pretty good deal, huh? Well, yeah, it is…if you look like this guy or gal:

Your current suggested health condition if you plan to enroll for a Montana bronze plan

Some of us aren't impervious to life, however, and that’s why there’s more expensive plans, like this silver plan for $183 a month, but with just a $1,000 deductible:

Montana 'balanced' Silver plan

This is really good, because when have a very good chance of getting sick or fucked-up in some way next year, and that’s why the $2,196 you give to the insurance companies over the course of 2015 is such a wise investment.

And if you don’t get sick or hurt or anything else…do you get that money back? Nope, we’re using that for other things, like improving your view:

Hubris (Click for links to these insurance company skyscrapers)

Arrogance

Narcissism

Greed

Yeah, insurance companies really know how to handle your money well, don’t they? Or did you want to account for that $36.6 billion in administrative costs some other way?

And health insurance companies made $305 billion in premium income just in 2011…so you know they’re going to kick anyone that tries to limit that right in the balls. I’m sure Obama and Baucus are laughing about that right now over their Peking Duck. Thanks, guys!

Well, hell – we’re here, it’s a Monday…why don’t we just go all the way and look at those platinum plans? Here’s a real hum-dinger:

Platinum health plans in Montana

Damn, $483 a month…but look at that deductible - $0! This must be for people that are really on the ropes, that need the emergency room just about every week. To them an extra rent payment each month is a deal!

Conclusion

I decided to just skip the Gold plans for Obamacare in Montana, mainly because they’re several hundred dollars each month and there’s just no point in me looking at them.

Oh, I might be interested if my minimum student loan payment wasn’t $248 a month, and to be quite frank, I think when I finally get those bastards paid off I might like to keep that money and not turn right around and start giving it to the government again.

I really don’t expect a lot of Republicans, both nationally and in Montana, to come around to Obamacare because it’s so easy to look at the numbers. For me, I see that I get a great deal if I only give the insurance companies their money and hope to hell I don’t get sick. For if I do, I’m fucked.

And when you get down to it, what’s worse – being fucked physically in America, or being fucked finanacially? We don’t have debtor’s prisons anymore, but a lot of people are living with the chains of debt around their neck. And we as a society encourage this.

I can’t help but think Obamacare is going to make America’s already-shaky finances even shakier, and the life for struggling Montanans even more difficult.

 

Bonus Content for Republicans:

One of the things you quickly realize is how draconian the government is, and perhaps why they have such a disconnect. That’s exemplified in their insistence upon using PDF pages for documents. Why is this bad?

• They’re slower to load;
  
• The pages are cumbersome to view;
  
• It’s not easy to zoom in and out;
  
• Scrolling is difficult and sluggish.

All of those things cause people used to the faster and more responsive industry and corporate websites to hit the ‘back’ button faster than someone screams "I'm on fire!"

Now you can take all that PDF information and you can put it on a website page or a blog page – just like I’m doing right here – but the government is too busy paying lots of money to tech companies.

Anyways, let’s not try to rationalize the irrational – let’s get back to healthcare.