See, Republicans don’t want you to vote. While I won’t go so far as to say they’d like you to stay home and shut the fuck up, I will say that they’d be much happier if you’d just let the grown-ups handle this election, and just about every other one from here to eternity…which shouldn’t be too much longer now (how many flight delays can Jesus have?).
No, it’s much better if you stay home, watch the Charter TV and put down that book, if you know what that is. Don’t bother going to school – who’d want all that student loan debt anyways? – and be content with the job you have – Montana’s economy just doesn’t support more than 5,000 good-paying jobs.
And that’s why we’ve got LR-126 this year…a bill designed to take away your right to vote.
No, don’t believe all those lies you’ve been told – voting really isn’t that important anymore and even many politicians think it doesn’t do anything. While it still may be a constitutional right – Ted Cruz is working on this – that doesn’t mean you have to exercise it.
Hell, you can practice free speech, but that doesn’t mean you should say what you think, and you have the right to peaceably assemble, but that doesn’t mean you should get your ass up off the couch.
Well, that’s the language that was in this Republican memo that somehow got leaked, and which some patriotic visitor to Big Sky Words then emailed me. Those italics above are directly from the first part of the letter, and I want to include the final part here:
This is America, damn it, and if young people and minorities and women and Democrats get to vote then you know it’s going right down the shitter.
There were 28,329 Montanans that used election day registration in the last decade, according to Montana Secretary of State Linda McCulloch, and fucking hell, we could have really rammed this state into the ground and enriched ourselves with our Wall Street friends if that hadn’t been allowed to happen!
And don’t think for one second that this is some drop in the bucket – it’s not. That averages out to around 6,000 voters an election that are using the system to change, update, renew or register anew on election day.
Huddle around here for a second and listen. America was once a proud country, and could be again, but if these subversive groups continue to have their way, continue to exercise their right to vote, then we might as well just say the terrorists have won.
The good news is that right now many of these un-American people are unaware that they need to update their registration due to a simple address change and would be turned away at the polls from voting.
Thank you Jesus!
We can use this to ensure our misinformation campaigns can be kicked into overdrive day and night. Belch the smoke into the air and get those presses running – we can still bamboozle ‘em!
Remember, we’re trying to fix something that isn't broken – our ability to steal Montana elections. Montana has one of the most sound election systems in the nation according to the Pew Charitable Trust, and hell’s bells, that just will not do! Really, can you imagine ethical people running the show? It sends shivers down my spine.
Election Day registration is a threat to the integrity of elections and our ability to stick it up the ass of the common Montanan. People who register on Election Day are trying to take away something that’s always existed in America – the ability of the rich to screw the poor guy out of all he’s earned, and leave him smiling afterward.
Let’s make sure we stop this Democratic plot to keep America voting, let’s get every Republican voting for LR-126!
Working together, we can stop this latest Republican plot.