Republicans are always looking for shady ways to make money for their campaigns. Democrats aren’t much better, as anyone with an email account knows.
Now, we get some damn unrighteous spending, and most of it comes from shady sources. Is there anything we can do to shame these politicians so they’ll not raise so much from such asshole sources?
I was thinking about this after a MT Cowgirl article in which I suggested we put up large billboards with every donor’s face on it, names and maybe even likes and dislikes or biggest turn-on.
I know I’d like to see that while driving to Helena or cruising along the exits in Missoula, but is it enough, and is it even viable. After all, one person said that the other party would just do the same thing, embarrassing their donors.
Well, what other options do we have to shame these people? Here are 3 options to shame politicians into fiscal sensibility.
Now, we get some damn unrighteous spending, and most of it comes from shady sources. Is there anything we can do to shame these politicians so they’ll not raise so much from such asshole sources?
I was thinking about this after a MT Cowgirl article in which I suggested we put up large billboards with every donor’s face on it, names and maybe even likes and dislikes or biggest turn-on.
I know I’d like to see that while driving to Helena or cruising along the exits in Missoula, but is it enough, and is it even viable. After all, one person said that the other party would just do the same thing, embarrassing their donors.
Well, what other options do we have to shame these people? Here are 3 options to shame politicians into fiscal sensibility.
Toilet Paper
Everyone’ll see your name and face on that billboard, but what if we put it on toilet paper? It might save you some shame, knowing that your face isn’t seen by so many. You’ll just have to get over the fact that your face is covered in shit each day, perhaps a couple times a day.
I envision political TP with pictures of all the members of Congress, your hometown representative, corrupt judges, incompetent governors and plagiarizing senators.
You’re getting two jobs done at once with this – cleaning up your backside and your conscious. See, when you’re completely honest and come right out with how politicians make you feel – like shit – then you’ll have so much more peace of mind. And there’s nothing like a good laugh to start the day, which a shitty visage of…oh, say Eric Cantor or John Boehner might give you. I think it’s a win-win for everyone.
I envision political TP with pictures of all the members of Congress, your hometown representative, corrupt judges, incompetent governors and plagiarizing senators.
You’re getting two jobs done at once with this – cleaning up your backside and your conscious. See, when you’re completely honest and come right out with how politicians make you feel – like shit – then you’ll have so much more peace of mind. And there’s nothing like a good laugh to start the day, which a shitty visage of…oh, say Eric Cantor or John Boehner might give you. I think it’s a win-win for everyone.
The Gauntlet
Running the gauntlet is an age-old contest where one man tests his mettle against whatever can be thrown at him. While this was usually done in medieval times with kings and peasants, I think our times are similar enough that we can give this a try.
I suggest having a monthly gauntlet based on regions. Montana could be in Region 9 say, and we’d gather up all the politicians that have accepted campaign donations and we’ll send them to a remote 3-acre area enclosed with high barbed-wire fences.
Prisons would be the ideal locations, and we’d also have the necessary people. Line up all the prisoners in two lines and put up some yellow police tape to hold them back. Give them buckets of tomatoes, chum, restaurant leftovers, old fryer oil, expired supermarket food, and medical waste. Prisoners – and really anyone else wanting to take part – gets to throw that crap at the politicians as they race past.
This could replace campaign finance reports, as those not making it through the gauntlet would just have that money taken. See, they have it on their person, so if the prisoners can get it…well, I guess that means you’re their bitch, huh?
What's more, it's a great way to encourage good prisoner behavior, as this would be a monthly event only those that have been good can attend.
I suggest having a monthly gauntlet based on regions. Montana could be in Region 9 say, and we’d gather up all the politicians that have accepted campaign donations and we’ll send them to a remote 3-acre area enclosed with high barbed-wire fences.
Prisons would be the ideal locations, and we’d also have the necessary people. Line up all the prisoners in two lines and put up some yellow police tape to hold them back. Give them buckets of tomatoes, chum, restaurant leftovers, old fryer oil, expired supermarket food, and medical waste. Prisoners – and really anyone else wanting to take part – gets to throw that crap at the politicians as they race past.
This could replace campaign finance reports, as those not making it through the gauntlet would just have that money taken. See, they have it on their person, so if the prisoners can get it…well, I guess that means you’re their bitch, huh?
What's more, it's a great way to encourage good prisoner behavior, as this would be a monthly event only those that have been good can attend.
Plane Drops
Let’s put a spin on the ‘ol literature drops, huh? Let’s say you get a shit ton of election crap in the mail from whoever wants to ‘represent’ you. Communities will be sectioned off and each Saturday a huge bin will be put into a nearby parking lot. All citizens will go down and empty all their campaign crap…er, literature…into the bin.
After that we’ll take the bins to the airport where they’ll be loaded onto small planes. At that point pilots will fly over to the politician’s house and drop all that crap right back where it belongs.
City officials will be waiting outside each politicians house with their ticket book. Any campaign crap that’s lying outside of their property will be noted and a citation for littering will be issued.
Those are just three simple ideas to shame our politicians and maybe get a piece of this democracy back. I don’t expect the parties to think too highly of this, and that’s unfortunate. The Pay-Per-View receipts alone would be immense.
After that we’ll take the bins to the airport where they’ll be loaded onto small planes. At that point pilots will fly over to the politician’s house and drop all that crap right back where it belongs.
City officials will be waiting outside each politicians house with their ticket book. Any campaign crap that’s lying outside of their property will be noted and a citation for littering will be issued.
Those are just three simple ideas to shame our politicians and maybe get a piece of this democracy back. I don’t expect the parties to think too highly of this, and that’s unfortunate. The Pay-Per-View receipts alone would be immense.
