Now, I know this isn’t true, and I know this because I met Donald today:
Anyways, before that we got into a discussion on LR-126 and voting in Montana, and I’ll have to admit that it got heated at times.
I didn’t have anything to record the conversation with, so I can’t include it here, but I can give you a basic rundown of how it went, the questions asked, and the ultimate outcome.
I would like to add that this might be offensive to some readers, so now would be a good time to just hit the ‘back’ button and maybe come back tomorrow when there’s something else up.
LR-126 Supporters in Montana
Now, it’s always my policy to play dumb with people that come to my door, at least at first, and this is about how it went:
D: Have you heard about LR-126 in Montana?
G: Uh…not really, maybe you can tell me about it.
D: OK, it’s an initiative on the ballot to make it so you need to be registered to vote.
G: Oh, well that’s not such a bad idea, now is it? (laughs)
D: (laughs) No, no it’s not.
Here there was a bit of a drawn-out pause as I allowed Donald to become lulled into complacency.
D: Have you voted yet or do you–”
G: Oh, I always go and vote on election day.
D: That’s good, so in this case then you’ll want to vote for LR-126.
G: Well, that means they have to register, right?
D: Yep, they’ve got to register by the Friday before the election.
G: Well, what if I have to work all day that day?
D: No problem, just get registered on Thursday.
G: (shakes head) No good, I’ve got a double that day too.
Here Donald seemed unsure if I was talking about a shift or a shot, so I pressed on.
G: I mean, what if I can’t register by that Friday…I just can’t vote?
D: (nods) That would be the case, yes.
G: Well shit, who does that help? Because I certainly don’t think it helps out poor schmucks like me, you know?
D: Right, well…
G: Who does this help?
D: It helps make sure we don’t have voter fraud, or people voting twice, once here in Montana and once in another state or even city in Montana, say.
G: (laughs) Oh, c’mon – I don’t buy that for a second. Who’s gonna go and vote in Missoula and then drive over to Butte or Idaho or whatever?
D: College students might do it.
G: College students can’t even get laid without getting a case of beer into ‘em – I don’t buy that either. C’mon, who’s this help…Republicans?
D: Right now this is a voter-supported initiative and–
G: Voter-supported, my ass. This is a lame attempt by the corporations to get their hooks into us further, mainly be getting poor people and minorities to vote less.
D: Uh…that’s not…
G: Well can black people still vote with this?
G: Can black people vote in Montana?
Donald stared off and had to think for a moment on this one.
G: Give me a break, man – black people have been voting since 18-fucking-65 and the end of the Civil War. How about women, can they vote with this?
D: Uh…maybe I should–
G: Maybe, huh? Shit, pal, you must not be married because that maybe shit don’t fly too far unless she says it does. Women in Montana have been voting since 1914, which was a damn many years before they could nationally.
D: Women can vote as long as they register by Friday!
G: Oh, what a fucking agony that is, isn’t it? Friday…shit, we better move that back to Monday, don’t you think? I mean, we’re not paying women as much as men, why the hell should we treat them any more equal on this?
D: That’s what I always…hey!
G: It’s those gay people voting that really gets a bur up under your ass though, doesn’t it? They’ve got to be stopped!
D: Well I’m sorry if you don’t view them as a threat, sir (this is where Donald tore the informational flyer from my hand), and I hope you enjoy the world they create.
G: Yeah, go fuck yourself.
I’d like to think that’s what Donald did, but he probably just went off to accost one of my neighbors. Watch out for these sneaky bastards – they’re out there.