So my question is, what are we doing to scare those men in Syria back – anything? Because I mean...I’m not seeing a whole lot of beheadings on TV. Actually, the corporations cut off my access to free television 2 weeks ago so I’m not watching TV in Montana. But if I was, I’m sure it’d be reruns of The Big Bang Theory or The Voice.
While those shows are scary in their own way – frightfully so at times – they don’t necessarily instill the kind of fear we’re looking for in our adversaries. In fact, I have a feeling things like that might have them laughing at us.
That’s why I propose a policy that might produce more concrete results, and that’s castration, or what I like to refer to as cutting off balls.
There’s a long history of men having their balls cut off, and in ancient Byzantine it was considered a death sentence. That’s kind of interesting since many of the nations that rose up upon that empire’s fall embraced castration. The calipha of Baghdad may have had thousands of eunuchs – men that’d been castrated – as slaves.
Hell, Thomas Jefferson thought the practice so humane he proposed it instead of death for sodomy, rape and polygamy.
Any pet owner knows that the humane thing to do is neuter your pet, and when it comes to fanatics that are cutting off heads, maybe this is a sensible policy. Or would getting together to talk over cake and tea be more to your liking?
While it’s true that a little small talk over hors d’oeuvres might be a bit more civilized and generate goodwill with friendly nations that don’t really want to do anything other than turn the other cheek, I’m not sure it’ll produce any kind of measurable results. Holding a terrorists balls in my hands as his blood flows down my arm, now those are results I can see.
But wouldn’t cutting off the balls of young men be tantamount to genocide? I guess you could argue that, but I think killing Christians on a hillside in Iraq is more in-line with that. Most of these young men took themselves out of the gene-pool when they signed-up for Suicide Bombing 101.
I like the movie Inglorious Basterds and I’m sure the 1977 original it was based off of is also good. I like the fear it imparts, the idea that Nazis will have a swastika carved into their foreheads. I’m sure when news spreads that all prisoners caught by the Americans are coming back as women, blathering like goats, then yes, that fear will spread as well.
These yahoos in the Middle East know all about prisoners. Remember what it looked like in 1991?
But as you know, we’ll have boots on the ground by the time Halloween rolls around and kids on doorsteps abound. That means lots of money will be wasted, probably on a lot of “shock and awe,” whatever the hell that is.
I do know one thing that will shock and awe the hell out of ‘em, and the weapon only costs $1 or less.